Shame, Shame Go Away

Most of us have heard the jingle, “Rain rain go away, come again another day”. And most of us have had these words playing in our minds in some form, “Shame shame go away, don’t ever come back, not any day.” Yet our shame keeps coming back, day after day after day.

Shame is the self-disgust, self-hatred, and self-condemnation we feel toward ourselves for something we have done that we wish we would have never done. In regret, we say demeaning words to ourselves such as,

“I am so dumb.”

“I am so stupid.”

“How could I have done such a thing.”

“What was I thinking?”

“I am an embarrassment to my family.”

Other people confirm our shame by saying,

“You’re so dumb!”

“You’re so stupid!”

“How could you have done such a thing?”

“What were you thinking?”

“You are an embarrassment to your family?”

We are so embarrassed because of what we have done. We are ashamed of ourselves. We feel worthless...no good...awful about ourselves. We feel we are horrible people. We can’t look others in the eyes. We feel people are staring at us, judging us as worthless and disgusting, and rightly so we believe.

Other times we suffer silently in our own shame. Hiding our own struggles and problems by putting a smile on our faces as if all is okay. No one knows what we did. But if they did, we think, they would hate us too. They would reject us. They would leave us. They would know us as the awful people that we are...so we think.

So we suffer in shame.

We sink into depression.

Sometimes we are so frustrated and mad at ourselves because of what we have done that we punish ourselves. Some people inflict pain upon themselves as a means of punishment. Some people withhold something they need, depriving themselves as a means of punishment. Sadly, others, seeking to escape the emotional pain of their shame, take their lives.

Others throw themselves into good works...trying to do good things to feel better about themselves. But the good feeling of the good works wears off...and the shame returns..

We wonder how people could love us. “They wouldn’t love me if they really knew me”, we think to ourselves.

We wonder how God could love us. How could he? God knows it all...everything about us, certainly he is disgusted and frustrated with us. He is tired of us.

But is he really?

Does God love us despite what we have done?

Could it be that he is not disgusted or frustrated with us at all?

Could it be that he is not tired of us?

Could it be that he deeply loves us, completely accepts us, and has totally forgiven us?

What does the Bible say? What does Jesus say?

In the Bible, Jesus tells a story about a son who left home in total rebellion to his father. The son spent his money in wild living, doing every sinful deed imaginable. More than likely, word got back to his father about all that was happening in his son’s life. His father knew everything.

Soon, the son’s money ran out...gone...nothing left. He had no money, no friends, and no food. So he hired himself out to a farmer, taking care of pigs. The son became so desperate for food that he even ate the pig slop.

As he sat in the pig slop, he began to reflect on all he had done. Shame set in. He began to think...

“I am so dumb.”

“I am so stupid.”

“How could I have done such a thing.”

“What was I thinking?”

“I am an embarrassment to my family.”

Possibly, he heard from passers-by,

“You’re so dumb!”

“You’re so stupid!”

“How could you have done such a thing?”

“What were you thinking?”

“You are an embarrassment to your family?”

He was deeply embarrassed because of what he had done. He was ashamed of himself. He felt worthless...no good...awful about himself. He felt he was a horrible person. He couldn’t look others in the eyes. He felt people were staring at him, judging him as a worthless and disgusting person...and rightly so, he believed.

He was suffering in his shame.

He was sinking into depression.

Then he thought, “I will go home. I will tell my dad that I am a terrible person, undeserving of his love and of being called his son. I know my father is disgusted with me...mad at me...frustrated with me. I will earn his love back. I will earn my way back into his heart and home by working as a hired servant on his estate. I will prove myself worthy of his love, acceptance, and forgiveness. That is what I will do.”

So off he went. That long, self-loathing, self-condemning journey home. With each step of his miserable journey, he remembered all that he had done. Along the way, he recited to himself how terrible of a person he was. Then he would rehearse exactly what he would tell his father.

Eventually, he made it to the outskirts of town...feeling filthy, both inside and out. He looked up. In the distance, someone was running toward him. Someone who hated him, or so he thought. Someone who was angry with him, or so he believed. As the person drew closer, he noticed it was his father. He was convinced his father didn’t love him and was running toward him filled with condemnation, frustration, and anger.

Finally, when his father reached him, his father did something that he wasn’t expecting. His father hugged and kissed him, embracing his son with arms of love. He was so happy to see his son...so full of joy. Rather than meeting his son with a lecture, he met him with love. Rather than meeting his son with condemnation, he met him with compassion. Rather than meeting his son with frustration, he met him with forgiveness. Rather than meeting his son with anger, he met him with acceptance.

The son began to tell his father how worthless he was and all that he was going to do to earn his way back into his father’s heart and home. But the father stopped him, telling his servants to quickly bring a robe for his son, sandals for his feet, and a ring for his finger. There was no way he was going to let his son take another step of shame. Instead, he was going lavish love upon his son...unconditional love. A love so strong...a love so deep...that it would wash away his son’s shame.

The son was overwhelmed with such love. “How could this be?”, he thought. “This is not what I expected.”

The son’s life was never the same once experiencing his father’s love. The shame he felt began to go away while he was embraced in his father’s arms and when the father lavished him with such love.

So what does the Bible say about how God feels about you? What does Jesus say?

Through this story, the Bible says you are loved by God. Through this story, Jesus says you are loved by God.

God is the most loving Father there is. He is the Father who knows everything you have ever done. He knows every place you have ever been. Yet he loves you with every part of his being. He runs to you in your shame and embraces you at your worst. He reaches out to you in love, rather than scolding you with a lecture. He doesn’t condemn you, but is compassionate to you. He is not frustrated with you, but forgives you. He is not angry with you, but accepts you.

He quickly moves to remove your shame by clothing you with the very righteousness of Jesus. He doesn’t see what you did, instead he sees what Jesus did for you. He sees Jesus dying for all your sins. He sees all your sins as being counted against Jesus. He is not counting your sins against you. He remembers your sins no more. He loves you unconditionally. He has forgiven you totally. He accepts you completely.

You are in his heart. You never left. He has made your heart his home. He never left. He has been loving you the entire time. You are his dearly loved son. You are his dearly loved daughter. He delights in you. He will hold you. He will heal you.

Shame shame go away...you are loved, forgiven, and accepted by the Father. Don’t think about what you did one second longer. Think about what Jesus did for you and how much your Father loves you.

Shame shame go away...never come again, not any day!